How to find yourself is a really important thing in life.
We all get lost sometimes and we cannot seem to find our way back.
We have lost our meaning in life and just cannot break away from the feelings of feeling trapped.
We end up living a vicarious lifestyle and keeping other people happy instead of living with ourselves in mind.
Then all of a sudden we have forgotten our purpose and living our best lives seems to get further and further away from us.
I have been there and gotten the t shirt myself.
So what we will discuss on this page is how to find yourself again in common scenarios.
How to figure out what you want to do about it and some frequently asked questions about finding yourself again.
My Top Tips On How To Find Yourself Again
- Become a little more selfish – You should be following your dreams through life. It is up to you to start making sure that you look after your own mental health and put yourself first for a change. Everyone has dreams and aspirations in life and if it feels like they have been taken away from you then you might feel as if you don’t know what you want in life anymore.
- Have a long term plan – Having a plan in life will allow you to be more consistent and motivated in your approach towards life. What I mean by this is that for instance, you have had a baby and you are finding it really hard. You are torn between going back to work and balancing your home life. Acceptance of the situation for what it is at the moment will carry you through. So thinking this is just temporary and in 5 years they will be back at school and you can carry on with your career will give you the motivation to get through it. So whilst situations may seem as if you are stuck at the moment, use manifestation and the laws of attraction to vision what your future will look like when it gets the opportunity to return to normal.
- This is your life live it – One of the things that we forget in life is that we should be in control of it. We may not know what we want to do in life but it is in within our control. Some things might seem scary and change will seem scary too. Sometimes however we have to change our life in order to feel better and become an all round better person. For instance my ex wife just turned around to me one day and told me the relationship was over, no talking, no arguing just boom she wanted out and that was it. I hated her at first and couldn’t understand why? She told me there was no point trying to work it out because I wouldn’t ever get it and you know what she was right. So I believed that everything does happen for a reason and moved on as quickly as I could. Now I live the life of my dreams and have found a new wife and a new family that I am completely over the moon with and couldn’t be happier. Yes there are more things I want but generally I am happy again and find myself smiling every day.
- Stop being scared – When we feel trapped and we can’t change what we have and we feel that we cannot move forward. We become scared that this is all life is ever going to mean to us. No matter how hard it is you have to move forward and let go of the past as quickly as you can. The way I see things now is that you may go through a few months of pain or it could last a lifetime instead. I now know through the lessons I’ve learnt in life that I would rather have the short term pain than live an unfulfilled life.
- Do everything you can to make yourself happy – Living day to day and going to work and then sitting on the settee will not give you the value you deserve in life. Cheer yourself up and get out and do the things that make you happy. It could be just seeing your friends does this, or going to the gym, a walk, seeing family. Don’t make excuses along the way get out there and keep yourself busy with lots of fun conversations that keep your mind active. When you keep your mind active it will naturally find a way to delivering your dreams as long as you keep manifesting what you want in life.
- Work out what you want – What actually makes you tick? What makes you smile in life? What would like look like if it was the ideal thing that you wanted? See it smell it and feel it. Then put your plan together as above and go out there and try and achieve it. You know it might take hard work but nothing is free in life, so put in the effort and you will get the rewards.
- Don’t let others control your life – If you have other people in our life whether that is a partner or kids who make you feel crap about your situation or yourself. Then do not let their words or actions control your life. Just keep calm and tell them how they make you feel and then do things for yourself to keep your life on track. They will always come back to you later as they will realize in life at some point that empathy is important too. Teenagers are a pain in the arse anyway and it is not until later in life when they are in the same position that will realize what they put you through. Great relationships with anyone in your life, should be with people who add value to your life and see you go up in life and not down. So surround yourself with people that make you feel great and support you and ignore the rest of them.
- You can do anything – You really can do anything in life if you want to. Sometimes the choices seem really hard but they are still choices. Sometimes we prefer to put up with the pain of toxic jobs, toxic relationships because awe are scare to change. Well I am telling you that you can do it. Yes you will suffer pain along the way but if you have done everything that you can to make the situation better in the first place and that is the only choice. Then pack your bags and start to live your best life moving forward and let the others regret it.
- Be patient – Everything in life takes patience. We can’t just have a magic wand and everything will all of a sudden get better. What we can do though is have that plan and whether you want to be successful in life, live a life of peace and comfort. You can always lean on your plan and record achievements and have a path to follow. When everything is just in our heads it can be confusing and we can lose track of time. At least holding yourself accountable and following the plan will show you the progress you are making along the way.
- Get out there – You will learn how to find yourself by having new experiences in life. Don’t waste your life by doing nothing. You owe it to yourself to try new adventures, meet lots of different people, try different jobs and do everything you possibly can to enjoy life. Be both grateful and thankful that you have this opportunity, some people do not have this choice in life. All it takes is a plan and the motivation to do it.
- Be Yourself – Never pretend to be someone else in life or live vicariously in a way that becomes dangerous to you and the other person. You are an individual and there are billions of people on this planet that will just love you for who you truly are. So if you want to find yourself then you have to be yourself. Then through different things that happen to you in life will reveal the true you and your likes and dislikes along the way.
- When you are lost – Try and remember when you were last happy and remind yourself of this. If you cannot bring yourself back to this state, then you need to find your purpose in life again. I got lost loads of times until I realized I was attracting the things I didn’t want instead of concentrating on the things I did want in life. Once I learnt to live through myself and set goals and made myself accountable I started to get what I wanted in life again. When you see life as a challenge and accept the failures but keep striving for more, it becomes fun and when bad things happen you always have some good things to replace those feelings with instead.
- Have a do it now attitude – No one can change your life but you. No one can make you do anything or see that things need to change. If you cannot see it then you cannot change it. Feel your feelings, listen to your gut and make actions to changing everything that gets in your way. Create that pathway and go for it. Be kind to yourself and others along the way and learn how to be nice to other people as they will help you with the right attitude. The last thing you ever want to do is look back on your life and think I hate my life. Capture things that annoy, your not happy with early and do something about them as quickly as possible before they take hold of you.
Common Scenarios’ Where You Might Have To Find Yourself Again
- After having a baby – This is hard right and if people told you how hard it was we probably wouldn’t have kids in the first place. To be honest even when kids come along you still need a life yourself. As partners together this means taking care of each other when you both need it most. Balancing the problems between you rather than creating additional one’s. You need space for yourself and some you time. You might not feel like leaving them but do not put yourself in the position where you are living vicariously here as you might just forget who you are along the way. Keep going to the gym and try and keep whatever routine it was you had before and let the baby settle into your routine rather than the other way round. Yes babies need routine’s too that you can stick too but you still need the freedom of a life without baby too so look after yourself here.
- After a breakup or divorce – As I am on my 3rd marriage now I have been through this a few times and I have learnt in life to move on as quickly as you possibly can. If someone does not want you in their life there really is nothing you can do to change that. All that happens is you keep trying and they keep pushing you away and it just makes things even worse. I have had to keep in touch with my ex’s due to the children. It is amicable but to be honest I am with the most beautiful wife ever now which in hindsight I should have waited until she came along in the first place. So my advice is that if 95% of the time that person doesn’t put you first, doesn’t treat you amazingly, want to be with you, would do anything for you. Then you are not right for that person and you should be with someone else who makes you happy instead. I know rejection is hard but suck it up and look at the things you did wrong and promise yourself that you won’t make those mistakes again in the next relationship, but move on quickly and enjoy life again.
- Find yourself beautiful – Life is not about what you look like. It is about spreading love and kindness and see the beauty in others. It is about the twinkle in your eye, the cheeky smile and expressions that you have. It is about being comfortable with who you are and believing in yourself and what you stand for. Looks are only skin deep and there is someone out there that will see you for the beautiful person that you are. My step daughter has an enormous scar on her face that she has struggled with unkindness in life for such a long time. But she is unwilling to cover it up or make excuses because it is her and she is beautiful in every way. Sometimes life deals us a shitty card but we can either spend the time being depressed or learn to live with it. When you learn not take criticism from others that is unkind you make yourself powerful in every way. So when you look in the mirror look for the good things, big yourself up and say you look beautiful because you are.
- Spiritually – There is a lot to be said for this and the universe is a powerful place. I personally believe in manifestation and the laws of attraction and I often use meditation to have clarity in my thoughts. If you are suffering from any issues in life however I can honestly say that exercise is the most powerful thing that you can use in your life if you want to find yourself again. Pushing yourself physically brings out endorphins and character that you will not get from anything else. Achieving your potential through exercise is a great motivator to push your life forward and feel great about yourself along the way. The spiritual side I use for relaxation more than anything else and you can absorb the thoughts and feelings better when your body is tired and the mind just needs to relax.
- After depression – Depression really is a horrible thing to go through in life and is probably one of the reasons why you are looking to find yourself again in the first place. It doesn’t matter what you do as nothing gets better. Like I said above with the spiritual thing exercise is key here. I was overweight and struggling in life, now I train 3 times a day and don’t suffer from anxiety or depression anymore. Yes I got rid of everything in my life I was worrying about too and no matter what the cost was. I made a plan for my life and actively follow it also but even then it is easy to drop back into. What I would do is reward yourself for the good times, keeping do more things that make you happy, get fit, eat healthy and set yourself some goals. Eventually things will come good when you stay consistent and want to get better.
Frequently asked questions about finding yourself again
- How do I begin to find myself again? What I did here was I sat down and thought about what I wanted in life and not what I didn’t want, that is the important part. What would make me smile, what was I good at, what motivated me. Then I wrote down my goals and what I wanted and set on my path to achieve them. I find by getting the rewards I needed and the recognition built my confidence in myself again. Follow that with being kind to everyone, giving love freely, being unselfish but taking care of myself and I now know who I am and what my value is in life.
- What does it mean to find yourself? When you do everything you can to live the best life you can and stop making excuses then you can evaluate yourself from a critical standpoint. When you hold yourself accountable for your life and stop blaming others, but consistently keep on trying and trying and accept failure. Then you learn to love yourself as a person, that way other people do not bother you so much, because you know who you are and what you are capable of. You know you are kind, you know you are generous, you know you work hard, you know that you own this life. If you make a mistake you are happy to correct and also not make the mistake again in life. When you find yourself you will be at peace with who you truly are.
- How do you get yourself back? This is a good one and my beautiful wife had been stripped down a well as myself in our last relationships. When you are in a toxic relationship and you cannot make it better you have to walk away. You should always be able to be yourself and probably where when you met certain people. Overtime you disintegrate into someone else, normally unhappy and unfulfilled. So you need to get back with people who you are comfortable with being yourself around, stay away from the toxicity of others who put people down for a living. Just have the confidence to let people love you for who you are. You know when you are on top form and when you are down, by recognizing this put yourself into better situations that make you feel great and then do more of it. Do not ever let anyone hold you back from being who you want and deserve to be in life.
- How do I find what my passion is? Try lots of different things in life and see what makes you smile and what makes you feel rewarded for doing it. I spend 3 hrs a day writing these blog posts, other people would hate it, but I love it because it gets my feelings out and I know I am helping other people. I also train 3 times a day and have a full time job too. I do things now that make me smile and when I have to do the things that need to be done. Finding a passion is an environment and not a thing and you will know when you come across something you like to do everyday without ever getting bored of it. The simple thing is to try things in the first place.
- How do I find my authentic self? This is a difficult one because we are educated to conform often to the surroundings we find ourselves in. It is okay to have your own opinion on things as long as you learn to think before you speak to others. Just because you think something is right does not mean others will. Also you need to learn to listen to other people’s viewpoints and it might be that they have a great view that you never saw before. Life is about communicating with others and valuing what they offer and have to say. The more you communicate openly with others the easier it will be to find your authenticate yourself. The one that you are comfortable being and not the stubborn person that won’t listen to anything else anyone says.
- How do you pull yourself together – You hear this a lot right. It is not that easy either is it. The only way I deal with this is by being prepared myself, assessing my thoughts and actions on everything that I do. Sometimes you will fall apart that is natural but I tend to walk away and take moments of clarity to think about things rationally. When you think rationally and have clarity the answers will walk through the door. When you panic you will be overcome with silly emotions that will highly likely stop you acting with good judgement on things. So take deep breaths, think about the situation and wait to calm down before reacting to things.
Here are 10 tips on how to find yourself again:
- Take time for self-reflection and introspection (source: Psychology Today).
- Identify your values and what is important to you (source: Psychology Today).
- Practice self-care and prioritize your physical and mental health (source: Healthline).
- Step out of your comfort zone and try new things (source: Psychology Today).
- Reflect on past experiences and what you have learned from them (source: Healthline).
- Seek out new experiences and opportunities for personal growth (source: Psychology Today).
- Spend time alone and learn to enjoy your own company (source: Healthline).
- Set goals for yourself and work towards achieving them (source: Psychology Today).
- Surround yourself with positive and supportive people (source: Healthline).
- Learn to trust yourself and your intuition (source: Psychology Today).
So there you have it my thoughts on how to find yourself again in life. I know it isn’t easy and life can be hard which is why I put together my transformation program at https://changeyourlifeforever.co.uk where I will help you find your way in life.
When I was stuck and lost my way in life and didn’t know what to do. I videod what I did everyday to turn my life around and live in happiness, giving love and spreading kindness but also looking at myself too. Please feel free to join me as it won’ cost you a penny and it highly likely will make you feel better about life too.
In the meantime I wish you all the very best in your life. Best wishes Scott