Darn it how can I be happy again is the question I asked myself over and over again throughout times in my life. But I am happy today that this question no longer comes into my daily thoughts and I want to help you learn how to be happier too, because you’re worth it.
“How to be happy” is the question of a lifetime. Over 40,500 people search for happiness on Google every single month. So what is the answer to finding ultimate happiness? Some of it means living for yourself and some of it means changing things in your life too, keep reading to get to the juicy tips below.
There are lots of reasons that we can become unhappy in life.
In mine it was by dedicating my life to two ex wives that did not really appreciate everything you did for them and decided to end the relationship. Move out with my children who I adored. That had the biggest impact on my life. What is yours?
Now at times when you look back on life everything does happen for a reason and even though bitterness and unhappiness does surround you from time to time. It is often better to push those feelings back to where they belong and learn how to be happier as quickly as you can.
Being unhappy is sometimes a state of mind that we can convince ourselves is the position that we are in and we cannot do anything about it. When you look at your life in a pragmatic sort of way however and believe that you deserve more, then things do change and rapidly.
When you really feel that everything you have been delivered in life so far, is just a stepping stone to finding out how to be happier, then your viewpoints change dramatically. For me it was making sure that when my second wife left, that I didn’t make any of the same mistakes again and that this time in life I would make sure that I became happier.
So here are my top tips on how you can make yourself happy again, if you are in a place you don’t want to be in
- Don’t let the past dictate your future. Just because bad things have happened, people have rejected you, you have failed at something or just everything hasn’t worked out for you yet. This does not mean that things are not going to change for the future.
- If you adopt a positive approach to your life, then it can change dramatically. For me I went from being on my own and taking care of myself to meeting the women of my dreams and being eternally grateful for life in just a short 3 mth period. Now 3 mths is not long to go from having nothing to having everything.
- Believe that you can be happy and you will. My second wife and I just made each other unhappy and for no other reason than just normal every day stresses. But my new partner and I have learnt these lessons and support each other and communicate through thick and thin and the changes in life that this has brought on, have been nothing short of amazing
- Happiness is found through sharing love, laughter and kindness and once we surround ourselves with people, jobs and a positive atmosphere etc then our lives become more fulfilled. Living for yourself is an important aspect of finding happiness. I learnt how to be happier by teaching myself in life that I don’t do anything for anyone unless they are at least trying to help themselves first and foremost
- Change things in your life that you are not happy with. The longer you leave your unhappiness the harder it is to get rid of. We all have a tendency to put up with things that we shouldn’t, but your everyday well being is extremely important and you need to have fun and things to look forward to in life
- I wish there was a magic pill that you take to create happiness, but unfortunately there isn’t. All we can do is fill most of what we do with things that cause us to become happy. Like lots of hugs from our loved one’s, laughing and generally seeing the fun things and not concentrating on the bad things in life
- Dealing with our thoughts is probably one of the hardest things to do. Especially when we tell ourselves consistently that we are not happy. Our brains have a way of holding onto negative emotions and you can convince yourself of anything if you are not careful. Saying things like yes I maybe unhappy but if I do X to change it, that feeling will go away and it is better than just saying I am unhappy and not doing anything about it
- Change is a really difficult thing to accept in our lives and also a very difficult thing to implement when you are happy and stuck in your current routine. Sometimes however when you make changes because you are unhappy, those small changes can lead to great things if only you can initiate the change in the first place
- Happiness is created from within Once you realize in life that you control your emotions, then you understand why happiness, anger, insecurities, anxiety, love are all emotions that you control. You choose to be angry, you choose to be happy, you choose to love. There are lots of reasons for this but ultimately those thoughts and feelings are one’s that you are in control of yourself. Keep reading to find out why.
- Don’t let others control your emotional state Most of the time our happiness seems to be controlled by the way others around us act. That is true because we can get upset, we can take things the wrong way and we can make ourselves think insecure things by the things that happen around us. But what if that person didn’t really mean what they said, what if you interpreted it in the wrong way? The one thing you can train yourself to do is to overlook these situations and just think “really” and move on. If you don’t, you will continue to question their motives and probably make yourself feel bad as a result of this. So if you are annoyed with someone or unhappy with what was said then ask them the question and you will soon find out. But when you know the truth you can normally accept the answer and the pondering about what if’s can make you very unhappy indeed.
- Don’t let others control your life Happiness comes when you are in control of your life. This doesn’t mean you being selfish, but means that you make the decisions, you control your destiny. When someone is controlling you, you tend to feel trapped and no way to get out. So always do things in life that you are happy with and not to make other people happy. Other people should be happy seeing the smile on your face when you are engaged in things that you love.
- Have a plan for your life This is not goal setting but if you want things in life, new house, new car, new job, new clothes etc. Then don’t sit there dreaming about it, put a plan together to obtain them. One of the things that creates happiness is moving forward in life.
- Always keep moving forward Don’t get stale in life and think this is all it is ever going to be. It is not, life is what you make it. Regardless of education, background everyone has a talent and everyone is special including you. So just keep aiming for the stars and keep your mind occupied with all the great things you want to do in life. Then get out there and start achieving them. Knocking things off your list will be really rewarding.
- Never be scared Our own confidence sometimes can get in the way of things. But you have to remember that failure is going to happen. You don’t become good at something without failure. So don’t listen to the critics that put you down along the way because you will wipe the smile off their face later. So always just have a go, who cares if people laugh at you, they mean nothing and add no value to your life so learn to ignore them.
- Understand life is fully under your control Once you realize in life that you are the one that controls your thoughts, your actions and not anyone else. You can then divorce yourself from keeping other people happy and just concentrate on yourself. When you concentrate on you, you know you have done the right things, so anyone poo pooing you is just an idiot and should be ignored. It is really a great state of happiness when you realize that you are the only one you really need to keep happy and then everything else will unfold around you.
- Knowing what you want Some or all of happiness comes from knowing what you want in life and how to be happier. What makes you smile, what are you interested in, what passions have you got. What would you like to do with your life. If you don’t know what to do with your life then that is the starting point for you.
- Getting rewarded From when we are children we are rewarded with badges and trophies, stickers and stars when we do good things. This carries on through in life and when you are rewarded for things, you get a warm fluffy feeling inside. So if you are a stay at home mum make sure your hubby rewards you for all the hard work that you do.
- Achieving something Achievement is a great emotion. Once you conquer something or you win a race, get that job, pass your exams etc then you feel great. Yes sometimes you fail which we talked about above, but generally when you set out to achieve things in life there is nothing better than getting there. So always have something to achieve in your life and happiness will find it’s way.
- Be kind to others One of the things I often see is people being unkind, now when you control your own emotions you can overlook these things. But most people can’t. It doesn’t matter whether you are having a bad day, are stressed out, being kind always matters and this will stand you in good stead for the future.
- Realize Karma really does work Karma is a real thing and you may or may not have noticed it in your life. But the universe has an amazing ability to deliver the same thing straight back to you when you give it out. So always give love, always be kind, be patient and that is what Karma will deliver to you. If you are unkind and shout at people and your kids then don’t be surprised if they do it back to you. Happiness really does come from what you give out and it is really hard for people to be horrible to kind people.
- Stop boredom Boredom is nasty and will get you into trouble. So always keep yourself busy doing something. Keep yourself moving forward as above and you will always have something to do.
- Be grateful You might not have everything you want in life but be grateful for what you have. If you spread love and kindness too then this will follow you and if your plan to achieve the things you want is in place, you will soon find they come to you quicker than you think.
- Don’t let social media get you down A lot of people now look for happiness through social media. They see all these stars earning loads of money and have a talent everyone loves. You post something and no one likes it, you then feel bad about yourself and bad emotions break out as a result. So always just be happy with yourself no matter what others responses are, it is you that matters.
- Love yourself Yep you may not be happy with your hair, your complexion, your height or whatever. But you are you, that very special person that has lots of amazing things to give to the world. You just have to find the people that see that in you and push you along the way. Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder and there will be lots of people out there that love you just the way you are.
- Say yes to things Don’t be shy. If someone asks you to do something give it a go. It doesn’t matter what it is, if there is a chance you will have fun doing it then do it.
- Keep smiling Life can get you down and it can get hard sometimes, that happens to everyone. If you concentrate on the bad things however they only get worse. When you turn a bad thing into a positive and keep smiling, then good things will eventually happen.
- Believe in yourself Yes, you really can do anything you want to. If you had the best coach in the World next to you training you on your interests. Then you would be great at it. However in most cases you will be your own trainer so believe you can do it and you will be able to, no matter what it is.
- Enjoy life Wake up in the morning with a spring in your step, look at the beautiful things around you, smile at people, tell your loved one’s you love them, work hard, play hard, keep moving forward, set goals, achieve goals, be kind, give love, dismiss those silly thoughts, know everything will work out and happiness will follow.
Frequently Asked Questions On How To Be Happy Again
- How do I get my happiness back? – If you have had a troubled background then the first thing you need to do is let go of the past. Just because we have had bad experiences in life does not mean that the rest of your life will be the same. Just because someone has treated you badly doesn’t reflect how other people will treat you in the same situation. Always move forward and believe that you can get your happiness back by putting yourself back in the game and going for it with no excuses.
- How do I feel free again? – This could mean many things. But if you want to feel one with nature and enjoy life and be happy. You have to be happy with yourself and what you are achieving in life. If you feel that you are giving everything you have and following it through then happiness will follow again. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side, so concentrate on keeping your grass, healthy, looking good and in great shape.
- How can I be happy? – Happiness is a choice and if there are things that are making you unhappy then that is what you need to concentrate on. Do more of what makes you feel happy feelings and less of what makes you unhappy. Stop talking to others who don’t bring you happiness, change your job if you are unhappy and so on. Wake up with a smile on your face and give your all to life and it will reward you for it.
- What makes a person happy? – Happiness is when you are content with your life. That you feel as if you have given everything you are capable off and get rewarded for doing it. If we sit on the coach and just dream off things and don’t do them then this is just wasting your life and you won’t feel complete. Follow the tips above and you will understand more about what it takes to become a happy person.
Everything above sounds easy doesn’t it and I know it isn’t because recognizing why you are unhappy and turning your life around is something that is not easy to implement. Otherwise we would all be running around with a smile on our faces and the question how to be happy would no longer be searched for.
There are only a few things that you can do in life – choose to stay unhappy or do something about it. There is no easy way to say this but it is true. My life has only ever changed when I have actively looked to change it for the better.
When you choose to have a plan in life and take all the knocks as a learning curve on the way to reaching your destination, you do learn how to be happier. Life does become easier, because you look at it in a different way. You are not so critical of yourself and the surroundings, but just do consciously believe that life does have its ups and downs and you have to ride the waves sometimes to get back to the beach.
If you need help in order to find happiness then do check out my transformation program as I am with you everyday to help you make changes in your life. Sometimes we just need a little hand to get us to where we need to be, but if you are unhappy you do need to change something so go and check it out today.
Wishing you all the very best in the future Scott
- “The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open.” – Chuck Palahniuk
- “Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” – Dalai Lama
- “The greatest happiness you can have is knowing that you do not necessarily require happiness.” – William Saroyan
- “Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them.” – Steve Maraboli
- “The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes, but in liking what one does.” – James M. Barrie
- “Happiness is a warm puppy.” – Charles M. Schulz
- “Happiness is not a goal… it’s a by-product of a life well-lived.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
- “Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.” – Jim Rohn
- “Happiness is not a destination, it’s a journey.” – Zig Ziglar
- “If you want to be happy, be.” – Leo Tolstoy
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