Overcoming adversity is a true skill to learn in life and once you learn it, you will never ever look back. You will become so powerful in your own life, that you will never worry about adversity knocking on your door ever again.
Challenges, bumps, problems, adversity whatever name you want to call it, happens to all of us in life. Some more than others unfortunately. Sometimes it beats your door down so hard, you just want to curl up in a ball and wish your life would just go away. It makes life so hard that it can become unbearable.
So below I am going to help by offering you some of the tips that I use to overcome adversity in every day life, things I have had to use to become a much better person and the belief that we can have anything in life we want if only we have the right attitude to get it in the first place.
I hated my life at stages and although I do not think my life has been anywhere near as bad as some people’s it’s still been a rocky ride with childhood illnesses, being attacked and having my ear cut off, friends and family dying, 2 divorces, 3 kids that live with their mothers, redundancies, rejections, failures, anxiety and depression to name but a few.
But you know what? No matter what shit is thrown at me. I will always overcome adversity because I know who I am and I know what I stand for in life and I know what I want and where I want to go and I will never let anyone stand in my way and nor should you. That is what I am going to pass onto you below is overcoming adversity with style and grace.
My Top Tips On Overcoming Adversity With Style
- You are going to hate this – Fitness is the one thing in life that will make you feel great about yourself. If you really want to find yourself in life then listen up. I was overweight when my last wife left me and I vowed that I would never go there again and lost 5 stone in 3 months. Since that day I put everything into training my body, I have never suffered from anxiety or depression again. I train 3 times a day and started off just by walking and now cycle, box and walk. The attributes fitness gives you to not give up will help you overcome adversity in any situation, because you have trained your mind to keep on going.
- The cards you are dealt – It doesn’t matter what cards we have been dealt in life and whether we like it or not everything does and can happen for a reason. It doesn’t matter whether we try and understand the reason, argue with it, get peed off with it. It is what we have been dealt and we cannot do anything to change it apart from the below.
- Acceptance – When we accept who we are and accept what we have been dealt. Then we can move forward. We all make mistakes in life, we all do wrong things, we all give up, we all fail, we all have bumps. But when you accept this and that what has happened, has happened and use your strength to better yourself next time, to not make the same mistake, to not do the wrong thing, to not give up, to not fail. Then you will be one step closer to maintaining a positive attitude in life.
- This is about you – In life no one else is to blame for anything no matter what the situation is. Like with acceptance above we have to move forward. This is about learning to love yourself and live with yourself in mind. To look after your mind and your thoughts and keep moving forward.
- Your thoughts – The one thing that can destroy us all in life are the intrusive and horrible thoughts that run fervently through our minds. Those questions and ideas that stop us from moving forward. Those thoughts that tell us that other people are horrible and nasty and unkind. The negative thoughts that can stop us in our tracks in life. Once you learn that this is your mind, it is you that is in control of these thoughts. Then you can overcome adversity with ease. If you can stop the self doubting then you really are onto a winner. The way I do this is because I do not care if I fail, I do not care if I don’t win, I don’t care what people think. Because I know if I don’t get it this time then I will the next. So every manifestation I have in my mind is all about winning, I can see and smell success and I know it is around the corner. Sometimes I just have to be patient in order to get there. Everything happens when the time is right.
- Do not listen to other people – Overcoming adversity means not taking things personally and not listening to the criticism of others either. Unless it is constructive and will help you deal with adversity in the right way. People can be cruel and will do anything to stop you from succeeding. Do not let them into your mind and to control your thoughts. Their opinion does not count and you should use every opportunity to prove them wrong and spur yourself on to give them the finger when you eventually prove them wrong. Believe me there is no better feeling than proving someone wrong with this.
- You are amazing – Be the best you possibly can be in life. Go and live your best life everyday. Tell yourself over and over that you can do this, that life is good, life will get better. See it smell it and always move towards it. It may feel shit at times and it may seem like life has it in for you, but it really hasn’t, it isn’t picking on you on purpose, you aren’t being singled out and no matter whether you feel like that or not you have to make the choice to become great in life.
- Fight with everything you have – The way I deal with this is pretty simple. I spent years talking to the older generation about the war. The things they saw, the things they went through and the fact that when ordered too, they ran over those trenches knowing they would be killed is something non of us know what it could feel like. So when I need courage in life, I think of these men fighting for our country to save our lives and I will not let them down by giving up or failing.
- Coach or mentor – In life there are not many people that can bring out the best in people and when you really have to overcome adversity then the best thing you can do is get yourself a coach. A great coach will get to know you, develop you, make you stronger, make you greater, will give you confidence, will reward you, will recognize you and will be with you every step of the way. This does not have to be a paid coach, it could be a friend or family just someone that realizes the potential you have and can help smash diversity in the face.
- Have a do it now attitude – The more we think about things the more likely it is that we will put ourselves off or increase our levels of self doubt. It is like people who do bungee jumps, if you are going to do it, just jump, why scare yourself half to death for 10 minutes thinking about whether you will or won’t. Just get the hard things over and done with in life and save yourself the hassle and the pain you will go through putting things off.
- Enjoy life – Get out there and smile at people, give hugs, be friendly, be kind, give love and you will find that others will help you overcome the challenges and obstacles in life. When you are genuinely kind then others will want to help you. It is our choice to be a happy person in life, you can’t buy it, you can’t give it. All you can do is choose to spread it and if anyone wants to join in your happiness then they will.
- Help others – Add value to other people’s lives, listen to them, have empathy for their situation, realize that they too can make mistakes, they can say and do the wrong things, be forgiving and don’t argue. Just add value to each others lives and help each other and big each other up as much as you possibly can.
- Gratitude – This is a hard one sometimes because we do not feel grateful at times. When you feel like crap and you think the world has it in for you, it is hard to feel like this. When you do all the above however and have a plan and goals to achieve in life then you will find things to be grateful for. In my eyes if I am walking and talking then life is your oyster and we can always do something to change it.
- Meaning in life – Find your meaning in life and stick with it. It doesn’t matter what it is just keep going on that path and know your worth in life and have a destiny and a place that you want to get to. Take control of your life and do everything you can to cheer yourself up and live your best life.
- Don’t be scared – I always look at this as being, what is the worse that can happen. If we are trying our hardest in life, being kind and following our dreams then things will happen positively. We might have some massive obstacles along the way but you need to jump over them. The easy way to do this is by being prepared for failure, but set for success. If you look at the obstacles and have a plan for getting over them you will never feel scared. Even if the obstacles come out of the blue you will find that keeping your mind focused on your goals in life will not only allow you to overcome adversity but will make you feel good about overcoming those obstacles too.
- Improve – Learn to criticize yourself and get to know yourself. Know when you have done the wrong thing and correct it, learn lessons about yourself and proactively change your behaviors. This is a really hard thing to master but you always want to be a greater version of yourself. Their are billions of people on this planet all with different thoughts and feelings, so what seems sensible to you may not be to them. It is about learning how to work with different people but remain yourself, which means adapting and not changing who you are but how you approach certain things that will help you grow in life.
- Have courage – Like don’t be scared, be courageous in life. Big yourself up and know your worth. Instill the confidence you need to look at these obstacles as being something you can easily deal with, even if you don’t know how to yet. But always be courageous along the way.
Overcoming Adversity In Common Scenario’s
- At work – This can be overcome by asking for help. Whatever obstacles are in your way there will always be someone that is willing to help you overcome it. Just be kind and polite and thank them for helping you out and even buy them a little gift as a present. You are never on your own dealing with adversity you just have to reach out to the right people to give you a lift over that obstacle. Don’t feel shy or stupid asking either, you have to overcome that if you really want to succeed in life.
- Current events – We are all living through a global pandemic at the moment and everyone seems to be struggling with the lockdown. People have been confined to their houses, the kids have been off school, friends and family have died and the World has been shaken by this deadly virus. I have lost my job myself and there are over 400 applicants for every job you apply for. So you cannot let the situation get you down, if you go down it is ten times harder to get yourself back out of that hole again. You need to stay positive and believe in yourself and climb any obstacles that get in your way.
- Guest Speaking / Presenting – Everyone hates presenting right? That is because you are not used to doing it and having a large audience to talk to is nerve racking. Have you noticed in schools now they make the kids get up on stage at early parts of their schooling. This is so that they grow up and get used to having an audience. So practice here is the thing to do also the following – Preparation and knowing your subject is key, look at the audiences foreheads instead of their eyes if you are nervous, talk deep breaths, talk slowly and if you feel any anxiety rising then just know that you are doing a great job. If it is a really important event it might be that you even need a speaking coach to help you overcome the obstacles with this one.
- In relationships – This again is a hard one as you really need to be able to learn to communicate with each other in a good way. In a relationship you are never going to be right all the time and you will also have to compensate sometimes for what the other person wants. I failed in my first two marriages and not because I couldn’t talk but my wives felt like I couldn’t listen. This is a big lesson and obstacle I have had to overcome, but life is about getting to know yourself and improve yourself at every opportunity. We aren’t taught how to have a great relationship or bring up kids, so we never really know whether we will suck at it or not. Timing is everything and not tit for tatting in conversations, you should support each other, value each other, big each other up and know that sometimes you can both be knobs at certain times. That is fine, have a massive hug and forgive each other and remember why you were together in the first place. But do everything you can to make peace or have a common agreed understanding moving forward.
Frequently Asked Questions On Overcoming Adversity
- What is overcoming adversity? It means to overcome obstacles that you come across in life. To not let any bumps in the road stop you from getting to your ultimate destination in life. Acceptance of yourself and what you stand for and that you are worthy of achieving great things. We all have varied lives and react in different ways, what some people find hard, others find easy and vice versa. So it is a mindset of knowing that no matter what life throws at you, you can and will overcome all those obstacles.
- Why is it important to overcome adversity? Because life will always throw things at us and if we cannot learn to overcome these obstacles. We will simply give up and not live a fulfilled life. If we give up we will never know our true worth in life. We could look back on life with regrets and wish that we had the courage to overcome this. Life is what you make it and you have to make yours one that you can be proud of and that is why it is important to overcome these bumps in the road.
- How can adversity change people? When you realize your own worth and that you are capable of anything. You have a power inside that allows you to know that you can face anything in life and overcome it. You are now empowered to look at life with a positive viewpoint and know that either through success or failure you are still a winner for trying in the first place. When you can truly do this you will be 100% more confident than 80% of the population. Unfortunately most people will give up at the first hurdle and throw in the towel. It takes just that little bit more to truly believe you can do it and when you do it, that new found confidence will have you jumping up and down. You just need to challenge yourself more to get used to the sensations of fear, rejection and failure. Once you are used to them you can control those emotions for your own good.
- Is adversity necessary for personal growth – Yes absolutely along with all the other points I mention above. To grow as a person means understanding what you are capable off and overcoming adversity and obstacles is a massive part of that. The more you do in life there is an increased risk of adversity and failure slapping you in the face. The first time it happens it hurts, the second it stings, the third you are ready to slap it back. So yes a really important part of life is to grow by overcoming adversity.
- What personal traits does adversity test? – Adversity will test the following traits below but you will probably find more along your pathway.
- Your confidence
- Your ability to keep going
- Your positive attitude
- Your mental capacity for pain
- Your ability to bounce back
- Your patience
- Your outlook on life
- Your beliefs
So there you have it that is everything I blobbed down on overcoming adversity and if you read this far you deserve a medal 🙂 I haven’t got any virtual one’s unfortunately but what I do have is a free pass to my change your life transformation program at https://changeyourlifeforever.co.uk
I put the program together to help others realize the particular traits you need in life to deal with adversity among other things as being kind, how to do better at your job and what I have done to build my life up every time I have been kicked to the ground.
Do come and join me and I will help you change your life for the better too. In the meantime I wish you a very healthy and successful life. Best wishes Scott