Letting it go whatever it is that is troubling you is the best thing that you can do and as quickly as possible. The longer we leave things in life the harder it is to start the process of letting it go. We can be consumed by our intrusive thought process that goes around in our heads.
Our voices pushing us to revisit the situation and to find out more about the problem, rather than just leaving sleeping dogs lie and know that life will get better. If we take a positive approach to things in life instead. Some things were just meant to be and there is nothing that we can ever do to change them. So accepting sometimes that things do happen for a reason can help us understand how to come out of these situations with a smile instead.
I remember when my ex left me and didn’t want to talk or make things up or try anything at all to work things out. At first I was devastated and was in shock. I just couldn’t get out of my head that she was leaving me with my daughter and that i wouldn’t be able to see her everyday and be the dad that I so desperately wanted to be.
Now this isn’t the first time that this has happened to me so luckily I knew how things would go and I decided that I would just let it go and move on because there was no point delving into the why’s and whats. The torment of it all just isn’t worth it and the intrusive thoughts you get are like having mental turrets and to contain them is frustrating among many other emotions.
I am sure you have been in this position yourself when you have had an argument or a disagreement with someone. The thoughts go around in your head and you tell yourself, I can’t believe they did that, I can’t believe they said that, I can’t let them get away with that, that is not fair because you did this. It is really easy to get into a tit for tat converstation and before you know it rather than letting it go, you just get sucked in deeper and deeper and make things worse.
So sometimes we just do have to bite the bullet if we want to move on in life and the below are my tips on how I dealt with letting go of the situation and moving on to a much better place in life.
My Top Tips On Letting Go And Moving On
- Your thoughts – The only person that controls your thoughts is you. Whether we like it or not the only voice in our head is our own telling us to do things. By calming these messages and understanding them and processing them with clarity rather than reacting will keep you safe. Our minds can make up a million stories to any given situation, so it is always important to believe in the facts and not the fiction that our minds try to play with us. They are just there to protect us, but I guarantee that whatever you are thinking is not the same as the other person. So until you know the absolute truth, do not believe everything that you think and feel.
- Become a better you – Sometimes in life we need to let go to become a better person ourselves. To learn from situations and understand ourselves better. As sometimes, things where definitely meant to happen. Whether we are heart broken or left shattered as a result of this, life is an experience and the only thing we can control is our own thoughts. We cannot control the thoughts and actions of other people. No matter how hard we try to make the situation better, if the other person has decided on how they feel. You will just make yourself look silly trying. It is better to always walk away and let it go and let them come back to you and if it was meant to be, they will come back.
- Learn to communicate and stay calm – Staying calm in these situations is really hard because it doesn’t matter what happened, you will need answers to your questions. If you cannot get the answers or don’t like the answer, then you have to communicate in the correct way. Sometimes we need to apologise and sometimes we just need to accept that it wasn’t meant to be. You cannot go in shouting, as this will just make the situation ten times worse. So keep calm as much as you can and you will be able to process your thoughts in a much better, clear and consise way.
- Accept the situation – When bad things happen to us and our minds delve on it and we cannot do anything about it. We just make the situation worse for ourselves and before we know it, we are saying well it could have been like this, it could have gotten better, if only. But this is just torturing ourselves and does no good for our mental health at all. Bite the bullet, learn from the mistake, push it to one side and move on and let it go as quickly as you can. You have heard when one door closes another one opens. Well it will if you look positively on things, if you look negatively. The only doors that will be open will lead to a pathway that you do not want to go down.
- Don’t take things personally – This is really hard because deep down we all want to know that we have done all the right things in life and we try to defend ourselves. Just because something didn’t work out or someone does not want you in their life anymore, does not mean this is personal towards you. It may very well be if you have wronged that person and in which case you need to rectify it and quickly. But when we can look at ourselves and be honest and see why these things have happened. We can make a choice to never make the same mistake again. This doesn’t mean losing trust in people either, it just means recognising sometimes that we do things wrong too. We all make mistakes we are all partly responsible in some ways for what went wrong. But we cannot hold ourselves responsible, crap happens sometimes and you shouldn’t beat yourself up about it.
- Don’t get nasty and blame others – It is easy to feel full of resentment and hatred towards a situation or a person. You wouldn’t be human if this didn’t happen, but when you hold onto these feelings, that person and that situation will stay with you and the rot will just set in. By letting go and moving on you can brush these feelings to the side and move forward with your life. You never want to look back with regrets, just concentrate on having a better future moving forward instead. It is also natural to blame other people, but when we accept some responsiblity ourselves for the problem. We get to know more about ourselves and this allows you to find your inner yourself which will also help you not to get into the same situation in the future either.
- Learning control in life – Sometimes our emotions can fire us up out of nowhere and make us blow up. Around some people that will bring out the worse in them too, as they might not know how to handle the situation. So learning some control in how you deal with situations is really important. Going for a walk or taking time out before you respond to anyone is paramount in not getting sucked into a situation you will regret later. Sometimes we do take things out on those we hold closest too, so learn to apologise and don’t just think it is okay they will put up with it. Because one day they won’t and they will walk away.
- Life is meant to be fun – Life is not meant to be a continous barrage of unhappiness. But if you want to be happier in life, then learning to let go of situations is really important to continue your happiness moving forward. It generally comes with time and practice and you can practice this yourself, so next time you are not happy, teach yourself to look at the situation in a different light. Don’t wind yourself up but ask yourself whenther holding onto this anger will do you any favors in the future. I guarantee if you do not let situations hurt you and instead can shrug this stuff off, your mind will be so much more peaceful.
- You are really just hurting yourself – Recognise that the only person you are hurting is yourself, the other person or situation has probably just moved on and not paying it any attention. So those intrusive thoughts you are having are just destroying your soul and no one else’s. Jealousy can eat you up too and make you feel like you want to kick back, but you have to hold onto your horses and ride until you reach the top of the mountain. Most situations will resolve themselves naturally anyway but the overthinking process that goes into it is the one that destroys your soul.
- Does it really matter anyway – Weigh up the pro’s and cons of the situation. Is your life really going to be worse off in this situation or can you make it better? If it can become better and you can see it and smell it and know that you can travel down your own path with a smile on your face. Then don’t look back and just let it go as quickly as you can. If your life is going to be worse, then try and rectify the situation if you can. If you can make sure you don’t end up in the same position again. If you can’t then accept it and move on as quickly as you can too.
- If you have to, then do this – Get rid of everything that reminds you of the situation if it brings back bad memories. Close down relationships completely if needed. Remove anything that makes you feel bad about the situation and concentrate on new things in your life instead. Moving forward as quickly as you can and cutting all ties to the situation is something that will make you heal quicker.
- Life is what you make it so enjoy it – When you realise that life is full of ups and downs and a bit like a rollercoaster. You will be treated like shit, people will try and bring you down, situations will try and bring you down and everything will stop you trying to live your best life. You never truly know anyone until they don’t need or want you anymore then you will find out what they are really like. Because you are expecting these things to happen, you become prepared and when you live for yourself in life, then you can stand on your own two feet and become independent on other people. You can become one with yourself and live the best life you can by not taking things personally. Knowing that shit does happen, moving forward and making a better life for yourself at every opportunity you get. If you are kind to others and give love freely and don’t get sucked into life by criticising others, becoming spiteful, hating life without putting in any effort and just letting it all go. Then you will live a more happy and sustained lifestyle.
- Don’t be scared – We all get scared about things changing in our lives but sometimes change is necessary. Whether it is forced upon us or we make the change, sometimes it is much needed. Relationships move on, people move on but after all, most people will look after themselves first and foremost which is why you should look after yourself first too. You will survive and you will make it through this, you just have to be strong, let go of the past and put a smile back on your face as quickly as you possibly can. Be courageous and live life to the best of your ability and cast anything off that wants to mess with your mojo, because worrying about stuff isn’t worth it. If you can let it go and move on, you will feel like a massive weight has been lifted of your shoulders.
- Let it go – My wife always tells me that you cannot argue with stupid and it is so true. Some people cannot communicate their feelings well enough and sometimes we cannot accept the truth either. This just means that situations escalate without the realisation that if you don’t come to a joint conclusion, you may as well just let it go. Letting go of some things is going to be painful but do not let it haunt you for the rest of your life. Do not live in regret and just keep moving forwards, so that you enjoy the time you have on this planet and live you for you and no one else.
Frequently Asked Questions About How To Let It Go
- How do you let go and move on? You have to accept that the situation is over and also have something else to replace the feelings that you lost. Sometimes there is nothing we can do about things, apart from let them fall apart. Take responsibility for the part you played in this and learn from any mistakes that have been made. Build a better life for yourself moving forward and treat this as a bump in the road to reaching your final destination. Life is a funny thing as we are expected to know what job we want from an early age, have a few girlfriends or boyfriends, get married and have kids, work hard. But life doesn’t work that way and when you have not experienced the world, committing to these things is hard and growing in life reveals who we are. So use every opportunity as being experience. I am now 47 and have only just found my meaning in life, have just married the women I should have married in the first place. Made lots of mistakes but i have learnt that to hold onto the things you truly should, you have to treat them with care, kindness and they will stay.
- Why do I have a hard time letting go of things? Rejection in situations is a really hard emotion to content with. We all want to be loved, recognised and rewarded for the things we do. As we have a rouinte when those things get out of line and change is imposed, we have a wobble. The uncertainty of what life holds takes a grip, so you tend to hold on, even if the situation is not right for you. It takes a great person to end a troubled relationship if it is not working out. But when you can see that there is no value to the things in life and it is holding you back, then you do have to let it go sometimes. In order to let go most people need something to replace it. Which is why some people cheat, because they are trying to find out whether the grass is greener on the other side. To have something to move too. This does not change the underlying causes of problems though. As they will always carry the same traits over with them and most relationships are pretty much the same. So live for yourself and keep yourself happy and if something does not add value to your life and you have done everything to change it. Then just let it go.
- Why is letting go important? Because if you don’t, you will just torture your mind with revisits of a situation you can do nothing about. Bitterness will set in and you will find it hard to move forward in life. We should always be concentrating on the future, rather that reliving the past. What we cannot change or have no power over we need to remove from our minds otherwise the torment will cause issues with your mental health.
- When should you let go of someone? That is a really hard questions. I guess my ex got rid of me by saying if it wasn’t going to be now, it would be sometime in the future anyway. It took a lot of guts for her to say that and to follow it through too. I offered everything to her but she had already made her mind up. So I would say, when you have done everything you can to make things right, you cannot communicate anymore, you are unhappy and you are not adding value to each others lives. Then it might be time for you to move on. A lot of people stay for the sake of the kids, this is a decision only you can make. I have been lucky that my kids stepdads have been amazing and to take on someone else’s kids as their own I truly value them for. If you are going to walk away however, you have to make sure that you have a clear vision that your life will improve, never look back and smash life out of the park.
- Is it true if you love someone let them go? Love is a funny thing and sometimes we can feel like we are in love. But without experiencing this emotion with lots of different people, you never know what that true feeling is like. You also cannot change other people’s minds for them, so despite the fact you might love them. If they do not love you back then you are wasting your time in finding that true special person in your life that will add massive value and love you back with all their heart. So that is a personal choice but you will also have to let go of all the emotions and baggage and move on yourself too and to a better place.
- How do you let someone go emotionally? Some people do lots of different things with this. I have seen recommendations that you think of things that they have done badly until you build a bad picture of them in your head. This then allows you to let them go. I do not believe in this approach personally as I think hating others adds bitterness to your life and theirs. There is nothing worse than knowing someone out there hates you. So I value all the things they did for you but accept that i was just not the right person for them and nor me. When you meet someone else but put in strict guidelines of what you want next time and don’t settle for less. You will find someone bigger and better that fills your soul with Joy. You just have to be positive and be grateful for the times that you were together and not bitter over the things that you miss, because they can be replaced.
- How do you make someone miss you? In life you have to be consistent. With my new wife I set the bar so high that sometimes I get caught out by dropping the ball. I text my wife numerous times a day to say how much she means to me, buy her flowers for her hard work around the house, open car doors for he and generally spoil her. There is no point doing these things however if you care going to stop it at a later date. People in relationships need a consistent approach and not a you aren’tthe man or women you used to be when we met. We all change but our caring and kindness should stay the same. So if you do everything to make someone as happy as they can be, they will automatically miss you, because they are your World.
I know some of these things sound easy but over time you will see for yourself that letting go really is the best option to move forward in life. If you cannot see things for yourself, then you are losing the battle. Most people cannot see where they are failing in life and find it hard to let go of their emotions. This can cause real emotional baggage that they take everywhere with them.
If you find yourself in this position, then over time realise that these thoughts and emotions are just holding you back and that you need closure on the situation. By having closure you will be able to move forward with a life that is more suited to your needs. A life that over time rewards you for being yourself and you will be so much happier in the days to come.
Life is meant to take you up to the stars. You are meant to live a life for yourself and be kind to others, to help others and not get brought back in time. Being brought back in time really will just make you feel helpless over the situation. So with closure you need to take control of your life and over time this will happen if you keep a positive outlook on life and know that you deserve more than what you had before. It is a trying time but the sooner you let go of the past the sooner you will move onto the better life that you will build for yourself.
So there you have it, all my blurb on letting it go and moving on in life. If you need help or motivation then please do join me on my transformation program where I go through every day strategies to add value to yours and other people’s lives through the daily videos.
In the meantime I wish you all the best of success in life and hope that you can now let go of the things that are causing unhappiness in your life. All my best wishes Scott