Wow “keeping calm”. Easier said than done right? Everyone says to me that I am the calmest and most laid back person they know, but it wasn’t always like that.
I used to get overwhelmed with anxiety to the point where I thought I would lose my mind and have to run from situations that made me panic all the time. So below I am going to give you some hints and tips I used personally and how they will be able to help you learn how to keep calm too.
I will also discuss different scenarios where you might need to remain calm and some ways to stay calm in those given situations. It isn’t easy at first but when you master these principles, you will get used to the feelings of anxiousness and you will be able to lower your worries to a more manageable state of mind, stay calm under pressure and remain calm for the rest of the day.
My Top Tips On Keeping Calm When Your Mind Is Going Crazy
- Controlling your thoughts – The thoughts you have are the one’s that make your mind start to spiral out of control. The what if’s that cause you to question yourself and ask yourself a million questions. The overthinking process that kicks you in the teeth and stops you from keeping calm in the first place. All these thoughts are doing, no matter how crazy they might appear are just there to protect you. When you learn to talk to yourself in a positive manner by answering those questions sensibly then your mind will start to believe what you say. If you tell yourself over and over however that this is going to be bad, your going to have a panic attack etc then that is what your mind will believe also. So it is about conditioning your thoughts to answer those questions in a logical state of mind. This type of assertive behavior will stand you in good stead.
- Exercise – Most people really hate this answer but a part of looking after yourself should include a good exercise program. I have tried all sorts of medication, meditation and everything else and the one and only thing that truly helped was getting in shape. When you push your body everyday to do more, your mind relaxes and those what if’s become more manageable because you are not panicking about things. It is easier to keep calm because you are processing your thoughts in a more sensible manner. I exercise 3 times day from full workouts to just a nice walk with the family and it does wonders for your overall mental health.
- Stop worrying – Worrying about things is probably one of the biggest contributors and overthinkers there is. Your mind is full of doubts about a situation or you worry about small and big things happening before they have even happened. Learning when you do these type of things and when they occur you can proactively stop yourself from thinking. My daughter is only 16 and she was talking about driving when she is 17 the other day and saying things like – what if I break down on the motorway, what if I run out of petrol. These are the type of thoughts that can cause you to worry unnecessarily about something which then causes doubt in other areas of your life. So you need to answer these questions with suitable answers and provide a solution that addresses them straight away. Once you have the answer move on and put it to the back of your mind.
- Rushing around – Nothing will dent your confidence more than rushing things. If you are rushing around consistently you will cause yourself unjust anxiety by trying to get everything done. If you don’t have an agenda and a plan of activities either to measure against, then this will cause you to panic and keeping calm will be the last thing on your mind. If you are late you are later, if you cannot do something today then do it tomorrow but stop rushing around.
- Leaving things to the last minute – You need to stay motivated and get things done. If you are putting things off because you are worried about doing them, then you are causing yourself more anxiety along the way. Never react to things but have moments of clarity and schedule time to get all those things out of the way as quickly as possible. Not only will this give you more time to do what makes you happy but you will stop all the worrying as then it is out of the way. Always be on time however for things as it is always better to be early as you can then prepare for the events ahead instead of panicking about being late.
- Speaking to others – It doesn’t matter what scenario comes up here learning to think before you speak needs to be taken into consideration. You are not going to be able to remain and stay calm if you have said the wrong thing. This will just go around in your head and you will lose confidence in your ability to keep calm and panic will set in. So don’t react quickly take your time to think about your answers to the situation and use the THINK methodology to work out the best answer.
- Manifestation – Take as much as you can from manifesting situations in your mind before you get to them. This one might sound a little cryptic but for instance if you are worried about a given situation. Then close your eyes and visualize the situation and make it clear in your mind. Then visualize your desired outcome of the situation and how things are going to great. When you do this you are being assertive about the outcome to the event and come the time this will be imprinted in your mind and the outcome will be more positive than you expect.
- Trust yourself – When those self doubts come in just take a deep breath and believe in yourself and the outcome of the events being positive. The thing that keeps me calm most of the time is because I really do trust myself and my ability to not only remain calm but accept that sometimes we all mistakes, sometimes we do do things wrong and I strongly believe everything happens for a reason. By believing in these things it doesn’t matter what situation I have put myself in I am able to remain calm because I am not scared of the outcome itself. When you can apologize for your mistakes, discuss openly and learn from your mistakes, take others into account with your decisions, empower yourself to change your mind. Then you become the controller of your own destiny because the power is in your hands to do something about it.
- Don’t be scared – Life can be scary sometimes for lots of different reasons and it can cause you loads of anxiety will just stop you from being calm in your tracks. Do you remember when you were a child and you had nightmares? Your parents would said it’s okay there is nothing there and you would go back to bed. You would probably lye there for ages thinking there was a monster under your bed or at the window. When you are older you know that situation would never be real, but when you are a child you don’t and it is scary. So if you managed to survive the battle of the monsters as a child be thankful and grateful that you can also pluck up that courage now and remain calm and tell yourself over and over there are no monsters, this is going to be great, it’s going to be cool, everything will be oriet.
- Talking positively to yourself – You are capable of achieving anything you want to in life with the right education and the right mindset. So for every opportunity you get in life always tell yourself these things, you can do this, you are amazing, you can have whatever you want in life, you got this, this is going to be awesome. Sometimes we get so carried away with all the negative thoughts about things that we forget to enjoy life along the way. So stop telling yourself negative things and just try and see the positive in life when you can.
- Being nice – Learn how to be nice to other people. If you have great manners and you are kind to everyone that you meet. You help them achieve their best, take comfort in providing value to their lives, then you learn a deeper respect for yourself along the way. When you are nice to others they will generally do anything for you and that is what life is about living a fulfilled and enjoyable life and being able to sleep at night. I know it sounds like a crazy one in order to keep calm, but keeping calm means taking control of your thoughts and that means stopping all the other negative thoughts that come into your mind too.
Scenario’s Where You Might Want To Keep Calm And The Solutions
- Staying calm and not getting angry – There is a time and place for every emotion but if anger is taking over when you are trying to keep calm then you need to look at this. If we are attacked verbally by someone then our instant reaction is to retaliate and staying calm just goes out of the window. The best thing to do here is listen to what the person is saying or the situation that has occurred. Process it properly by thinking about the situation without reacting first and foremost. Anger will almost definitely make most situations worse, so just take your time, take some deep breaths and pull in your emotions and speak wisely and calmly with your answer. I can honestly tell you that by whispering something softly in someone’s ear in an assertive tone will get you the required result. Shouting at someone will just annoy them and you will then have trust issues to deal with after the event. When someone can’t trust you then that leads to other problems too.
- Before a job interview or presentation – Everyone can suffer from panicking in these situations. The one major thing you can do before either of these is in the preparation. If you are prepared and you know about the subject, business and you are prepared to answer questions and you have manifested what your outcome should look like then it is a case of taking your mind of it until the event. Keeping your mind occupied and sometimes on other things wills top the worrying about that actual subject. Learning to build your confidence is another thing you might have to learn on top of staying calm to be successful with this one. Always remember everything happens for a reason so if you don’t get the job or the presentation doesn’t go well, just learn from it and do better next time. There is nothing wrong with failing at times as long as you are learning along the way.
- Before exams and tests – Knowing your subjects and putting in the work is paramount here. Concentrate on going in there and doing the best you can. Take deep breaths and read all of the questions first before starting to provide answers. If you cannot answer a question move on and come back to it but do not let it unsettle your confidence. Just concentrate on the next question and don’t panic. Remain calm and make sure you review every answer you gave before leaving the room. This is all about the confidence you have in the work you have put in. Don’t feel the need to rush it through either, as above, take some deep breaths and just take your time.
- Driving test – Yay the day of freedom when you pass your test and can go anywhere on your own. A tremendous amount of pressure building up right, so deep breaths again, don’t panic and take your time, listen to the instructor properly and observe your surroundings. Tell yourself you’ve got this it’s all good you will pass.
- During an argument – When I met my last wife we would quite often bounce of each other in arguments. By learning to remain calm however and explaining I was trying to help you move away from the you did this – you did that attitude. Arguments can be hurtful so listen to what the other person is saying and don’t interrupt them. Tell them you value their opinion if you don’t agree with it. Learning to communicate with people is the real key to staying calm and that means do not take things personally. Take your time and clearly explain things so you both have the same understanding moving forward.
- Stressful situations – With this you have to try and eliminate the stress and look at the situation logically. Don’t worry about the outcome but concentrate on the task in hand. One of the lessons I have learnt is to stop and think clearly about the situation. Reassure yourself that everything will be fine and if it isn’t that you will deal with it. Take some deep breaths and just remain calm.
Frequently asked questions about keeping calm
- How can I train my mind to stay calm? Think of all situations you are in with a positive outlook. What will be will be and what isn’t you will deal with. Taking control of your own thoughts and your own actions means that you can tackle any situation whilst remaining calm because you are prepared for the outcome whether that is good or bad. Building confidence is key to doing this and not putting yourself in stressful situations where you are like a fish out of water. There is nothing worse than throwing someone in at the deep end that cannot swim. So always so no to things that you are not comfortable doing and build your confidence by saying yes to more things that are you are really good at.
- How do you stay calm in stressful situations? Some people will excel in these situations and others will drown. It really depends on your confidence to deal with the situation in hand. Which is why it is better to remain calm by, listening to what is going, coming up with a sensible solution to the problem, providing a solution if it goes wrong and dealing with the outcomes whether they are positive or negative. Just take your time and think of positive outcomes
- How do I stay calm all day? This is one of the reasons I exercise throughout the day as it gives clarity of mind and you are able to mentally deal with any situation that arises. As an example I was getting married on the 11th May and the Coronavirus outbreak started that week. I was worried at the time that we everything might be cancelled. But instead I turned my thoughts to thinking how great the wedding was going to be, manifesting all the guests were going to have a great time, how beautiful my wife to be would look, how happy my kids would be again. This is the big thing about controlling your thoughts from panicking to thinking good things instead.
So that is everything I have on how to keep calm in everyday life. I put together a transformation proram on when I was rebuilding my life and going through divorce, losing my job, finding my new wife that you can find here https://changeyourlifeforever.co.uk
Please feel free to join as it will show you all the steps I took in life to changing my life around by being kind, generous to others, remaining calm, staying positive and just moving forward in life. In the meantime I wish you all the very best of luck in your life too Scott.