The best words of wisdom that you will ever come across is to be yourself all the time. I speak to so many people who struggle in life because they are trying to keep other people happy by pretending to be someone they are not comfortable with.
We are all special in our own ways and there are billions of people out there that will love you and accept you just the way you are. So why do so many people struggle to be themselves?
There are lots of reasons why this can occur and in modern society, it is not easy to not want to be part of the Tik Tok and Youtube clans and look for acceptance from others.
But why do we have the need to feel accepted by others and act in a way that stops us feeling like ourselves? Do we need to just think more about being ourselves before we try and change ourselves to appease others?
Take a look below on my top tips on how to just be yourself in life.
My Top Tips On Why You Should Be Yourself Everyday
- You are you – It doesn’t matter what you do in life, you cannot change the fact that you are you. We can train and educate ourselves in many different ways but we cannot change who we are. Which means that you have to be comfortable with who you are and seek out others that have similar interests or appreciate the skills and abilities you to bring to the table. If you try and be someone else then you are overshadowing the true you and at some point their will be a conflict.
- Be authentic – You don’t have to follow the crowd and be like everyone else. You have a personal identity that you should want to show. An opinion, an expression, thoughts and feelings that are individual. By all means join in with others but always look to stand out from the crowd. Do something that the others aren’t doing and just be you. Yes people can be judgemental at times but that does not matter as you really shouldn’t be bothered what other people think. If you want pink hair, then have pink hair, if you want to wear something outrageous then do it. Most people judge or laugh because they are not worldly enough to appreciate expression in people and authenticity. If you are going to be authentic however it is important that you do not judge others either. I remember when I was younger and got my tattoos, people frowned upon them in those days, now every famous person on the planet has them. So whilst something may seem silly now it could be the next fashion in the future.
- Don’t lie to yourself or others – Telling lies will get you in more trouble than it is worth. If you really want to be yourself then you cannot live in a World that is not real. Exageration of an event is different than lying however and stories can be told that you enhance things a little but if you tell someone you were in the SAS and you were a junior cadet then this is not truly being yourself. Some people can lie so often that they often believe that it is true in the end and what happens is they never really know who they are because they are surrounded by a web of lies.
- Be resilient – if you really want to be yourself then you will have to build resiliency into your life. If you are resilient then you will be able to handle most things that life throws at you. :earning to bounce back from life events is a real key skill in being true to yourself.
- Learn and adapt – One thing we can do in life is learn about our own behaviours and learn to stop being annoyed by others. Quite often there will be things in life that will get on our nerves including the behaviour of others. Sometimes we have to recognise however that we should back off and let things just pass. Getting annoyed will stop you from being your authentic yourself because your feelings will be governed by other people’s actions.
- Be kind – Be kind to other people. I see this all the time, people want to be successful or live a happy life but they are rude to other people and don’t offer kindness in return. In most things in life you will not get anywhere without the support of other people so learning to be kind to yourself and others is paramount in learning and adopting as above. Now this might sound like you are not being yourself if you are just a rude type of person but sometimes we really do have to adapt some of the things that we do to become a better person in life.
- Take other people’s opinions with a pinch of salt – Other people are going to say things about you, this is just a natural response that people have. Like I said above a lot of people follow the crowd and therefore never ever realise who they truly are. Whilst something you do might upset someone it won’t upset someone else. So do not worry about what other people think because they have their own demons, just concentrate on being yourself and adopt great behaviours such as those below:
- Be kind as above.
- Have great manners – you will shine far and above most other people if you follow this rule.
- Learn to self critique yourself – if you are aware of your short falls yourself it hurts so much less when someone points them out to you because you can always educate yourself to stop these behaviours and improve yourself.
- Have a conversation – People have stopped being able to communicat nowadays. You can sit in a room and everyone will look at their phones rather than have a chat. Whilst you might feel uncomfortable doing this, talking to strangers will open up a new world of views and perceptions in your life.
- Always try your best at everything – If you try your best and fail so what. It is always better to put in the effort than just think you cannot do something.
- Help others – Always ask people if they want help. It doesn’t matter what it is that you do, helping people will make you feel rewarded and quite often people will also give back too.
- Imposter syndrome – So many people struggle to be themselves because they suffer from imposter syndrome. They feel as if they are not worthy to do something and this has a major impact on the way you think and feel about yourself. If someone has promoted you or asked you to do something it is normally because they believe in you. The problem is then believing in yourself and your abilities. This is why you should always just be yourself. If you have pretended to be someone else or lied as above you might very well find yourself in this position and that is what causes the uncomfortable feeling. It is so much better to tell the truth and not be picked for something that put yourself under the pressure that you are.
- Take risks – As above with imposter syndrome, sometimes you should take risks and if they don’t work out then you will learn from the experience. Failure is something we have to through in life, if we want to find out our true capacity and who we truly are.
- Be confident – A lot of people stuggle with confidence because they are unsure of their own abilities. I can guarantee you however that if you were told everyday how great you are and encouraged and supported to do things in life your confidence would be immense. Sadly this is not true for everyone however and the only way to build confidence is by knowing your capabilities and being yourself. When you are yourself you will have a level of understanding of what you are capable of in life and how far you can push your boundaries.
- Have fun – Life is meant to be fun. We are not meant be sitting in our rooms watching tik toks and youtube and being judged by others on social media. We are meant to be out having fun and learning about ourselves and others. When we mix with other people we learn so much about ourselves and them that life becomes an education in itself. We really shouldn’t be worried about what people think or their judgements and resilience as above will tackle this problem.
- Learn to love yourself – This sounds a bit snotty right? But it isn’t because if we love ourselves then we are happy with who we are. It doesn’t matter what other people are doing, we make ourselves a priority. We are comfortable in our skin because we accept ourselves for who we are and what we stand for. We are happy that we do the right thing, if we don’t we learn, apologise and move on. But we adapt ourselves to not worry about life, to dismiss the intrusive thoughts that tell us we aren’t worthy and we become champions of our own destiny.
- Go out of your comfort zone – Testing yourself and your capabilities is really important in having the confidence to be yourself. By doing these these things you will learn what you can and cannot achieve. Where you are failing you can improve but pushing the barriers in life will help you become your authentic self in the end. Plus this can be fun, scary and exciting all at the same time.
- Open your mind – As you go through life your expiences will change, things you thought weren’t acceptable will become acceptable and things that were acceptable will become unacceptable. As an example I was terrorised through my teens by my parents getting divorced, I hated my mum at the time for what happened. It was only later on in life when I got divorced myself that I realised these things happens and it is not anyone’s fault. Everyone deserves to be happy in life and if you aren’t happy together then waste your life. Hopefully you will travel the World and meet different people from all aspects of life and you will realise everyone is just human no matter who they are. We are all someone’s child, parent, cousin, uncle and therefore we should appreciate everyone has their own feelings and their own shit going on.
- Competition – You are not in competition with anyone in life apart from yourself. Your job is to be the best you can be by being yourself. you are not meant to be better than someone else, you are meant to be happy with who you are and your achievements. We are brought up to compete from kids, that doesn’t mean you have to beat the other person, you just have to beat your own perceptions of what being the best means. Look at most of the famous people they didn’t want to beat others, they just wanted to be the best and above all they wanted to be themselves and be authentic, Madonna, Lady Gaga, Martin Luther King. They are all individually great and amazing people.
- Be comfortable in your own skin – Be happy with who you are and if you want to change something change it, but do it for you not for other people. We all have our own little skepticism of how we look or how we are perceived, but compared to what. Most comparisons are apples to pears and in this World just because someone looks amazing on Tik Tok doesn’t mean they do in real life. It is amazing what tints, makeup and photoshop will do for you. Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder and your one true love will see and as long as you be yourself you will live a happy and fruitful life.
Frequently Asked Questions About Being Yourself
- What does it mean to be yourself? It means to be comfortable in your own skin and not pretend to be something that you are not. There is an old saying keeping up with the Jones’s that always rings true on this. You don’t have to be like anyone else. You don’t have to compete with others, you don’t have to say you have done things to upstage or 2 shits someone. Pretending you have done things or you are something or not is not being yourself. There are lots of examples here that i am sure you can pull out from your life when people have said things and you’ve thought no you haven’t. Or someone that kisses peoples asses just to get somewhere but cannot keep it up. Someone who tries to be nice for ulterior motives. Don’t get me wrong we would all have done these things at some point but not being yourself begs the question of who are you then?
- How do you truly be yourself? If you follow the rules I have said above about being kind, helping others, doing the best you can in life then you should be comfortable with your achievements. If you set yourself goals in life and get out there and try and achieve them then you will find out more about yourself and who you really are. If you feel uncomfortable or you know you are lying when you do something it is highly likely that you are not being yourself. There might be times when you are yourself but you have to adapt your behaviour around others but showing off and being someone you are not is normally quite evident.
- Why is it important to be yourself? Because if you are not you will not know who you are and what you are capable of. You will stuggle to keep up the facade and behaviour because it will allows return to how you truly are. This is why we need to concentrate on improving ourselves. The key biggest success factors in life is communication with others and an ability to work with people. You cannot do this if you are pretending to be someone else as it is not sustainable.
- How to be yourself in a relationship? Relationships are really important and if you are in live with someone you might hold things back because you don’t want to hurt them. On the other hand sometimes things in relationships will not change and you will have to accept them. So honesty is the best policy in any relationship. You cannot simply blurt out that you are not happy with your other half however as this will just cause a row. You will need to learn to communicate in a way that does not suggest you are putting the other half down but more expressing your feelings about things. Everyone interprets and sees things in different ways so just because you have see it one way does not mean that they will see it that way too. This can become really interesting when you talk to each other as you will realise just how difficult communication can be. What seems straight forward to you, the other person might not have been listening, might have interpreted in a different way, had a different view point or whatever. So even if you have to agreed to disagree you should feel comfortable telling your partner your deepest darkest thoughts. Don’t pretend to be someone else in a relationship either as it is not sustainable and you have to be yourself over and above any other time. If you spend all your life with someone being someone else then you will look back and not be fulfilled in life.
- Why can’t I be myself around anyone? Takes practice and being around the right people. Like I said above experience opens your eyes to different things. So you may feel uncomfortable for lots of different reasons. You just need to believe in yourself, join in the conversations and fun and stop worrying about whether you fit in or not. Putting yourself under pressure of whether people like you or not will quite often make people judge you and your behaviour. When are you just being yourself however you will be more relaxed.
- How do I know if I am being myself? Because you feel comfortable with dealing with anything that comes your way, without getting frustrated, angry or self doubt. When you trulu believe in yourself you can be comfortable in your own skin. We all know when we walk in a room or there is an uncomfortable silence what that feels like. When you are happy with silence or you feel relaxed in the company of others you know that you are being yourself.
- How do I find out who I truly am? You find out about yourself by testing yourself in different circumstances and using life as a learning curve. We have all been brought up in similar ways by our teachers and parents, some what brain washed I guess. So at some point you have to find out what life is for yourself and make those mistakes. Like I said above just be kind, helpful, caring and do your best in life and you will be rewarded for it.
So that is everything I have to stay about always being yourself in life. If you want help to live a happy life then feel free to join my transformation program where i help you every step of the way in my daily videos. You can find it here https://changeyourlifeforever.co.uk
in the meantime have a fantastic time, keep smiling, have fun and above all be yourself. All my best wishes Scott
