Hi there, and welcome to the podcast for changeyourlifeforever. I thought I’d kind of do this one just while I was thinking about it today because, you know, sometimes I realized I, Can, Be, A Dick Sometimes a real idiot. And I think it’s important sometimes for us to recognize when we do things wrong and not only recognize when we do things wrong, but also have the capability and ability to be able to apologize for it.
And, you know, again, like my background is, you know, I’ve been divorced twice and in a new marriage over the past four years. When I look back. I, I’ve never ever blamed anybody for the things that have happened to me in life.
I’ve kind of taken control of where I could have done things better, where I probably let someone down and where I could have changed the outcome of things.
And that’s where it kinda led me to believe, you know, sometimes it can be an idea, it really can be. You know, I think all of us are opinionated. Sometimes we have our own ideas. We get upset by certain things. We have certain triggers, we get tired, we get grumpy and, and lots of different things affect us. But generally what we tend to do is take it out on other people.
And I was laughing the other day because I mean, I absolutely love my new wife.
She’s, she’s amazing. And you know, we have so much fun and so much laughter involved in our relationship. And then occasionally we just explode on each other just for the smallest, silliest things. And maybe in previous marriages it was very similar, but the outcome was very different. So the outcome would be that, you know, you’d look at the other person and say, wow, you know, you are an idiot. Go away. But in this new marriage, I, I’ve learned a lot of lessons and I’ve learned That, you need to put yourself in the other person’s shoes.
You need to understand the way That, you come across, the way That you present yourself the way that the information you were giving could be taken in the wrong context. Because what you say is not necessarily what someone else hears. and if you are trying to explain something to them and they don’t understand and conceptually you don’t understand how they feel anyway, then that loggerheads leads you to just consistently argue about the same point over and over again where it becomes kind of tit for tat conversation where you try and get one up on each other.
And if you don’t step back and look at it and go, geez, you know, was I right doing that , was I actually acting like a dickhead? Then you are gonna get stuck in a position where you’re at conflict with people and you’re at conflict with yourself because you will always think that you are right and everyone else is wrong.
And that’s not always the case because we all think differently and we all interpret things differently. And kinda with my wife now, you know, we, we generally just laugh cuz sometimes you can’t help it. You are in a bad mood. Something does trigger you and you do go off your head and you know, now I’m quite happy to sit down and go, I’m really sorry darling you know, I acted such an idiot last night. I’ve had time to think about it. I’ve had time to calm down. I’ve had clarity in my mind and you know, I’m really, really sorry.
I’ll try my hardest to never do it again. But, you know, recognizing our own downfalls is really an important trait. It really is, you know, to be able to look at yourself and go, did I really act right in that situation? Was I being an idiot?
Is that person right about the way that I presented myself? And sometimes it might be wrong because you might just be at loggerheads with somebody and you can’t agree on things. But generally we can all do things to look internally and look at ourselves and look at improving who we are, how we communicate, how we collaborate, how we treat people, how we understand things. But you know, most of us probably won’t remember how we were educated when we were kids. We probably won’t remember how the subconscious mind stores triggers when things get said and you get offended by them.
But there’s no need to be offended by anything, you know? And there’s lots of ways That, you can kinda get yourself to stay calm, be understanding, you know, ask better questions and calm situations down before they get outta hand. But I’m quite lucky because my new wife, you know, I adore her. I absolutely love her so much that I would never want anything to get in the way of our relationship. So admitting that I’m a Dick sometimes just really does cool down a situation.
It makes her feel better because she then knows it isn’t her despite whatever I’ve said and she’s the one causing the problems or whatever it is. So sometimes if you find yourself in conflicting situations, just sit yourself down in a quiet place. Think about what you’ve said, think about how you’ve said it, think about the impact that it’s had on that person. Think about putting yourself in their shoes and seeing how they would’ve felt about it. And then just if you are in the wrong, you know, try not to do it again in the future.
Try to be aware that that’s something That you do do. And just go and apologize to them. Give them a hug and just spit it out. I know sometimes some people just cannot apologize.
I know people, you know, are flat out a wrong sometimes, but they will not apologize for love nor money. They will not come and say, I am so sorry that I offended you, or I’m so sorry I didn’t do this or anything else. They will just bunch up inside and get angrier and angrier about the situation and you know, then avoid it. And we’re all very strange internally. And you know, life is an experience every day. I turned 50 in December and you know, if I had to listen to what my mom and everyone else told me when I was younger, I probably wouldn’t be experiencing these things now, but would’ve experienced them in a lot younger age.
But life is about having fun. It’s about being courageous. It’s about enjoying ourselves. It’s about working with people to, to be a better you, to become a better person, to be able to collaborate, communicate, and just get on with people and do well in life. And I think the big thing is, is just admitting sometimes That, you are a Dick, unfortunately, you know?
And then laugh about it. you know, tuck your tummy in, take a big deep breath, just admit it, move on, apologize, smile, and then, you know, go and have a little bit of fun about it and just laugh at yourself because sometimes laughing at yourself is, quite a good thing.
You know, geez, I, I am an idiot. I admit I’m an idiot. Okay, I’m sorry. And hopefully that will help diffuse situations sometimes. So it’s okay to be a Dick Head. It’s alright to do stupid things. It’s alright to argue when you’re not meant to argue. All those things are just natural. Just make sure you apologize afterwards. All right,
So I, hope that one helps you and I hope to see you on the blog at changeyourlifeforever and we’ll catch up soon. Take care. Bye-bye now.
